The concept of artificial commitment, as referenced in Psychology Today, comes from the those couples who choose to cohabitate for an extended period of time in a long-term committed relationship. Artificial commitment is experienced when living together has now created multiple barriers to exiting the relationship; some may describe this experience as feeling stuck.
Don’t get me wrong, living together before marriage does not create artificial commitment, however we have all seen those couples who shack up because one person thought it would be a good idea to save a few dollars but still believe marriage is too soon a concept to introduce into the relationship. How can you tell if you are experiencing artificial commitment? Here are 5 ways of knowing if your commitment to your partner is only artificial.
1. You Don’t Want To Find Somewhere Else To Live
It’s true! Moving can be a huge inconvenience, especially if your name is on the lease or mortgage papers. No one wants to leave his/her home, but if your biggest concern with losing the relationship is losing your space and moving your things, it’s time to go! It’s only fair to the both of you.
2. You Are Saving Money By Staying
This may be one of the larger non-romantic benefits to living with your partner; however, no money is worth you finding true love. Spend that extra hundred dollars, get your own space and pay your own utility bills. Your older you with thank you later.
3. It Would Be Too Much Trouble Starting Over With Someone New
It’s true, no one actually likes starting over with a new dating situation. You have to get used to a new person, a new body, a new smell…when you could just stay where you are most comfortable. Just remember, however comfortable your current situation, if you are not happy there is still to leave before this relationship becomes a permanent one. Just be sure comfort is not the only reason you’re staying.
4. Your Friends/Family/Coworkers Love You As A Couple
Don’t get me wrong, nothing wrong with a little admiration as a couple; however just be sure you are just as proud as everyone who is ‘hash-tagging’ your life. Otherwise, what good is any of this doing you. Would you rather be embarrassed by the break up now or suffer through a bitter divorce later? Your choice, of course.
5. You’d Rather Be With That Person Than Alone
Don’t be with someone just to be with someone. 9 times out of 10, once you get used to being alone, you’ll probably enjoy it a lot better than being with someone you can barely stand to have in your presence. It just takes time. They say time heals all wounds. A failed relationship is always easier to come back from than a failed marriage.