It is no secret that even as Black people, we are in disagreement with the overall results of the elections. Rather you decided to vote, not vote, not care or care less, our decisions are likely to have offended one or more of our friends, even if they didn’t let us know. For every one or two people who quietly disagree with us, there are a ton of people on social media who will be all too happy to weigh in on how they feel about our comments or perspectives. Nearly the entire map of the country bled red last night. Now is certainly not the time to attack one another.
Helpguid.org cites six tips that can be useful when unleashing your heart onto someone’s comments section. You can unleash or “let them have it,” respectfully.
Make understanding the priority rather than winning or “being right.”
Before you jump down someone’s throat and rush to let them know how you feel, try to understand their perspective. Hear with compassion. Everyone isn’t ignorant, and everyone isn’t “woke.” Don’t forget, at some point in your life you were not as enlightened as you are today.
Listen for what is felt as well as what is said.
Be sure you are entirely clear of the poster’s intent and all references before you respond to their posts. They may have misunderstood you or vice-versa. Too often we see unnecessary arguments and Facebook/Twitter beef because someone just simply misunderstood. Because we are reading messages online completely absent of tone and intent. It is not always easy to be sure what a person meant by a specific post until he or she tells you.
Focus on the present rather than past grudges.
I know, every time that person posts something it boils your blood because you can’t get past how completely ignorant their post was. You may know them personally and to you they sound like a different person; the two of you may have gotten into an argument just last week on another post. Either way, make sure you’re not the one appearing to be entirely unreasonable to onlookers. Don’t be a second-level troll. It’s just not nice.
Be willing to forgive by letting go of resentment.
If you have had future social media beef with someone, just let it go. “It’s not that deep.” It is social media after all, and many of these people you are connected with are nearly strangers.
Be willing to agree to disagree and move on.
Don’t be so anxious to comment. I know, the “Someone is commenting” feature really makes it difficuly for you not to be anxious when you’re in a heated debated on social media, but at the end of the day. Again, it’s not that serious. You really don’t have to have the last word. In fact, often times users find it pretty annoyed to simply be ignored in a comment that they put extra time and effort into posting. Lol…I know, i’ve tried it.
Use appropriate humor to reduce tension and anger.
I mean come on, some things you just do not say. “Grab em by the p****” is most definitely one of them. There is nothing wrong with a little humor, but always consider that many of these “friends” on your list are not actual friends. While humor or a simple “lol” can lighten up the mood in the comments section, you may not be aware of some of their personal struggles. For that reason, we should be more mindful of the things we say to others.