It is very easy to point the finger at those individuals who let us down. However, like many of you, I have been guilty of letting myself down. I’ve learned throughout the years to trust myself more, to believe in what I believe…more. Psychology Today provides some very insightful ways that we let ourselves down.
- Judging ourselves harshly
- Refusing to take care of our physical and mental health
- Allowing others to violate our personal boundaries
- Ignoring or suppressing our true feelings
- Assuming we’re wrong when others disagree
- Failing to defend ourselves against unwarranted criticism
Often times we allow friends and even family to cross boundaries that may violate us or make us uncomfortable. Our goal is usually to make sure everyone else around us is comfortable. If you are anything like me, you will sacrifice your very own comfort for the comfort and well-being of others. While it is ok to be considerate of other people, this consideration should not come at the expense of your own feelings and mental well-being.
Shake Things Up!
Often times you may find that people take you for granted because you allow them to. My logic has always been “a real friend wouldn’t take me for granted.” This is untrue. People take people for granted. It is just one of the realities of life. However, a true friend should not abuse these privileges. So, say NO to the next your friend who asks you to do something that you feel is completely out of line. Say NO the next time that family member asks for something that you feel is completely unreasonable. If you don’t defend you, then who will?
Friends and family are important. These relationships matter, but so do you. Take care of yourself, first.